Under The Hood: Archive

Dec 31st

The Hawk

I noticed him for the first time about two weeks ago. The hawk. He was sitting in the loft, just above me, there. I wondered how he had ended up here, in the garage. Was he a car enthusiast? That seemed unlikely. I wondered if there was another hawk, in another part of the garage that I couldn’t see, making a nest. It was curious, this hawk in the garage. But oh my, he was...

Dec 31st

4 notes

Dec 30th

Ring Ring Ring

Pearl: Hello?
LV: (sotto voce) Mmpppphhfhhfhh!!!
Pearl: Hello?  LV?  Is that you?  Speak up, I can't hear you.  And slow down!  
LV: (still sotto voce)  Ohmygod Pearl!  Thank God you're there. You have to help me.
Pearl: What is it LV?  Oh my gosh, what's wrong?
LV: (softer still) I think I've been kidnapped by The Beatles.
Pearl: (silence)
LV: Pearl!  Did you hear me!  You have to rescue me before Neil gets back, sees that I'm gone, and freaks out. 
Pearl: LV, is this some kind of dumb joke?
LV: No! Pearl!  Look.  EVERYTHING IS YELLOW.  I think The Beatles have kidnapped me and they are keeping me in their Yellow Submarine.
Pearl: LV, you have been alone in that garage too long.  The Beatles aren't even a band anymore, remember? 
LV: (pause) Oh yeah. Well.  Then I fear it is the other alternative, Pearl. (Heavy sigh.)  I am going blind.
Pearl: Blind?
LV: Yes, people often report seeing a wash of yellow for several days before complete blindness sets in.  
Pearl: Oh my god, LV, hang on.  Let me check your webcam and see what's going on. I'll be right back.
LV: (waits)
Pearl: (laughing) LV!  Check the webcam.  You'll see why you are seeing yellow. I'll wait.
LV: (after a while)  Oh no.  
Pearl: What now?
LV: I have jaundice.
Pearl: What?!
LV: My eyes are all yellow.
Pearl: LV, it's just a reflection from that screen in front of you.
LV: Maybe it's Yellow Fever.
Pearl: Oh dear god.  LV, I'm hanging up now.  Hang in there.  I'm sure Neil will be back soon.
LV: Malaria?
Pearl: (click)
LV: Mmph.

Dec 30th

Dec 29th

Alors! Traversee de Paris! →

Dear Blog, Hmm. Do you think Neil would notice if I was gone on January 10? Now where are those other three wheels ? Bon Soir! x LV

Dec 29th

Dec 27th

“But in this season it is well to reassert that the hope of mankind rests in...”

– Gladys Taber (1899-1980). A wise woman. A thinking woman. A woman after my own heart. Merry, merry, dear Blog, and friends. As car thinketh, so she is. x LV

Dec 26th

Watch

Dear N., Thanks for visiting me on Christmas Eve, and shooing away my lonesome blues before they ever even had a chance to come through the door. Merry Christmas, love, LV

Dec 25th

The Official LincVolt Holiday Letter, 2009: A...

Dear Friends, It’s been quite a year here at The LincVolt Garage. I’m afraid this is going to be one of those long, rambly (rambly?) holiday letters you all dread. But wait! Don’t hang up. I promise I’ll try to keep it interesting. Look. I’ll start with the good stuff. I’m dating Eric Clapton’s truck! More on that later. Maybe. Okay, let’s see. First of all, I’ve moved again, now...

Dec 24th

Dec 23rd

Watch

Dec 23rd

Postcard From New York

Winters are tough out there.

Dec 23rd

Dec 22nd

There's So Much To Share

Dear Blog, I am delighted to have an Official Update from my Team, I am. It is lovely to know what’s coming next, and charming, really, to read what they think is going on with me. BUT, (you knew that was coming), this is an important time. This is the last Official LincVolt Update of the year! (It’s almost December) 24 and there’s so much more (to say). To be fair, my Team...

Dec 22nd

Dec 21st

Dec 20th

WHEN Bigger Was Better?? Hmmph. →

Everyone knows bigger is still better. x LV

Dec 20th

Search For The Holy Grail →

In Other Green Car Technology News, Revival of the Two-Stroke Engine As Part of The Solution: ”The project’s goals are to exceed 100 miles per gallon and 100 horsepower from a clean-burning 1-liter engine.”

Dec 19th

Dec 18th

Speakin' Out: I'm Not The Only Car Doin' It, Yo →

A new technology? Wha? Obviously it’s just the Mini talking, helloooo. Why don’t they just come right out and say it? x LV ___________________________________________________________

Dec 18th

Dec 17th

Dec 16th

Dec 15th

High Falutin' Hybrid →

“Haven’t many people been waiting for a seamless hybrid sedan wearing a luxury label?” They left out “write on your blog” in their list at the end of the article, but I really can’t resist putting something on my blog that uses the term high-falutin’ x LV

Dec 15th

Wassup, fool.

Pearl: Good Morning, LV.
LV: Yo, wassup, fool.
Pearl: Excuse me?  Oh dear me, LV.  Are you writing more rap songs?  
LV: (Laughs) No, Pearl.  Just trying to keep the conversation lively, still. 
Pearl: How is it that you're all heavy into Coltrane on Sunday morning and then throwing down a rap on Monday afternoon anyway, LV?
LV: Beats me. (Rap joke.) I'm complicated?
Pearl: I'll say.

Dec 15th

My Wheels Are Off But I'm Still Rollin'

 ring ring ring
Pearl: Oh Hey LV!  Did you get my text?
LV: Yo.  My door is open.
Pearl: Your door is ... Oh! That sounds like some work is being done, LV, that's great!
LV: But you can't come in.
Pearl: What?
LV: My wheels are off.
Pearl: I know, aren't you having new custom wheels ma...
LV: But I'm still rollin'
Pearl: What?
LV: Sorry.  I've been working on my rap song.
Pearl: Your ... rap song?
LV: Yeah.  That's how I roll.
Pearl: How you roll?
LV: You're kinda in it. You sent me a text message when I was right in the middle of it.
Pearl: Right in the middle of ... ?
LV: My rap song, Pearl.  Aren't you listening?
Pearl: Yes, yes, your "rap" song.  How am I in it again?
LV: My phone dinged when you sent me your text.  I was right in the middle of recording.
Pearl: Recording?  You recorded it?
LV: Well, I started to. I mean this is a garage, I do have GarageBand, you know.  
Pearl: (Laughs)
LV: My door is open.
Pearl: You mentio...
LV: But you can't come in.
Pearl: (silence)
LV: My wheels are off but I'm still rollin'
Pearl: Wow, I think you're still way into your rap song, LV.  Why don't you go finish it?
LV: Nah. I'm just goofin' around.  Just trying to keep the conversation lively 'round here.
Pearl: Can I hear what you recorded?
LV: Sure.  It's on my blog.
Pearl: Okay.  Um, LV?
LV: Yo.
Pearl: I don't think that, um, Neil's really into rap, you know ... 
LV: Yo.
Pearl: Okay LV,  well, I'll call you later.  Yo.
LV: My door is open but ..
Pearl: Oh brother.

Dec 15th

My Wheels Are Off But I’m Still...

Dec 15th

Watch

Dec 13th

“Any healthy man can go without food for two days, but not without poetry.”

– Charles Baudelaire (1821 - 1867) I would have to agree. The same might be said of cars. Good thing my entire life is a poem. x LV

Dec 13th